Tuesday, August 12, 2003

It's just twenty-nine days away!

Since currently the role of poltical punditress seems dull to me, and since comments don't appear to be working, and since the twentieth anniversary of my birth on September 11, 1983 is just around the corner, I thought I'd entertain and inform my readers with an incomplete birthday wish list.

Lies and the Lying Liars Who Tell Them, by Al Franken
This isn’t available until September 22, but I can wait eleven days. I will also be afforded plenty of time to read this volume before I see Mr. Franken speak on October 23.

Family Guy Volumes 1 and 2, Seasons 1 &2 and 3
For when I need to turn my frown upside-down. Unfortunately, if you purchase these DVDs for me, you may also want to buy a DVD player for me. ‘Cause just looking at the discs won’t make me laugh. Buy both volumes and save at!

Office Space on DV
Funniest film of the glorious decade known commonly as the 1990s. Again, I will also need a DVD player if I am to fully enjoy this gift.

Abbey Road, Let It Be, Help!, and/or Rubber Soul, by the Beatles
My collection is tragically short of complete.

Money for college
Since my own parents can’t pay for my education, and since my boyfriend’s parents for some reason don’t feel obligated to help me out, even though they’ve known me for an entire nine months, and even though I’m real nice to their filthy dogs Scruffy and Callie, they still feel that their own two sons’ collegiate expenses take priority over mine. I entreaty you, my readers, to assist me in my pursuit of a higher education. My debt will probably add up to about $25,000 by the end of my fourth year. It’s okay to give it to me in installments.

A nice pair of earrings
My lobes have been naked ever since I lost my lone pair of silver studs. Perhaps a stud of my own can buy me a nice replacement.

A new birthday
I never wanted the day I became a legal adult to also be the day that America officially became a nation of diversity-fearing cowboys.


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