Thursday, May 13, 2004

There goes any chance of a Rebecca C. Brown Executive Vice Presidency.
Boo hiss boo.

I was banking on CalSERVE and maybe even Student Action being disqualified as entire parties, so that then (assuming that I got more votes than Alfred Twu and Mo Benny) I, your faithful Blogstress, would by default become your next ASUC EVP. No such luck however, as you can read on CalStuff.

The SJP ruling is a joke. As usual, however, many regards to Mike Davis for leading a minority voice of reason and insight. He can be a sopping self-important douche when he wants to be, but he knows the laws and implements them accordingly. He's welcome into my judicial chambers anytime. (And no, Mike, that wasn't meant with any dirty connotations.)

As you know, the duties of the position for which I ran are focused around running ASUC senate meetinsg, which are currently very dull. Given that there's a Ghandi's chance in Hell that I'll be EVP, I'd like to provide a list of all the awesome things I would have enstated had I earned the position by accident:

- Greek council comprised of actual Greeks. Frome Greece.
- Each first Wednesday of the month: costume night in the Senate Chambers. First week's theme: the American Civil War.
- Beloved stenographer Steve Litwak replaced by television's own Alan Thicke.
- Much more spontaneous breaking out into song.
- Minimum two Hoku Jeffrey references per meeting.
- EVP's gavel replaced with fresh salmon.
- Say the word "community": get comically doused in green slime.
- In lieu of budget meeting, heartwarming production of "Fiddler on the Roof," starring Ronald Cruz as Tevye.
- Nitrous oxide. Oh yeah.

You had your chance, ASUC electorate. You don't know what you're missing. Me. That's what you're missing.

(By the way, many combolations to all the graduates of 2004. Especially big congrats to David Duman. You are the wind beneath my wings.)


Post a Comment