Monday, June 28, 2004

Losers. Every last one of them.

Item! As of 6:47pm today, about a dozen men and women were lined up outside Cody's Books bearing blankets and coffee. Though early speculation indicated that the patrons were competing to be the first in the East Bay to pick up the long-awaited "Best of BBQ" issue of Sunset Magazine, further investigation revealed that they were in line to meet former president Bill Clinton tomorrow at noon.

Listen, folks. If you want to have an impersonal and rushed encounter with a former president, catch Jimmy Carter when he's in the middle of laying 2"X4" studs in the future house of some Guatamalan family. Or rub a $5 bill on your nipple. Don't waste your money on a mediocre book, and certainly don't waste your time camping our on Telegraph. You just might wake up with herpes.


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