Thursday, October 28, 2004

Syrian Border as Deus Ex Machina

Have run through all their other excuses for the Al QaQaa scandal in about three days the Republicans have been reduced to saying the Russians took it using the Syrian border. You see, the Syrian border is a magical place where anything you can’t find has probably disappeared to and things you didn’t expect magically show up. The current list of missing items rumored to have gone over the Syrian border thus far includes:

• WMDs
  
• Al QaQaa munitions (380 tons)
  
• Foreign fighters (since it can’t possibly be the Iraqis fighting us)
  
• The remaining Bathists that are behind the insurgency
  
• George Bush’s 90% approval rating
  
• International support
  
• Flu vaccine
  
• Post war plan for Iraq
  
• Osama Bin Laden (that’s how he got into Iraq, don’t you know)
  

If science could somehow find a way to harness the power of this enchanted border perhaps we can cause anything to appear or disappear there. We could get rid of pollution and create fighting dinosaurs to battle terrorists. We could even create a plausible explination for Al QaQaa that absolves Bush. That would be a head trip. We can only hope that Republican talking heads put their minds together and focus on this task before they become too busy trying to figure out why John Kerry won the election.

Update: The Russians are calling the story poppycock and the Pentagon says they have absolutley zero reasons to believe it's true. I wonder what lame reason they're going to pull out of their asses next.

posted by Tommaso Sciortino at 9:49 AM

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