Friday, April 22, 2005

Fuck Yeah I'm Hot and You Want to Buy Me Woo Hoo!

That's right, party people. The ASUC is having a date auction wherein student group leaders, Greeks, and athletes will be sold like slabs of meat to a salivating student body. But it's all for the children, so the objectification is justified.

Yours truly, Rebecca C. Brown (aka Campus Personality Rebecca C. Brown) will be among those on the block. I'm planning on duping one of my friends into buying me for $50 of my own money. But hopefully, my inherent hotness will speak for itself and I won't have to shell out any cash to rescue myself from embarassment.

How hot am I, you ask? Hotter than your mom's crack pipe after she takes a fat hit. That's how hot. Not just hot, but hawt. Maybe even haugt. Boiling. Definitely worth the money.

And if short blond girls aren't your thing, there should be some other hot people up for sale, too. I for one am coming armed with some dough of my own to spend on my fellow ASUC-ites. If I can get two dates out of one event, all the better.

It's at the Bear's Lair...I'm hoping the presence of alcohol will increase my commodification potential.

Summer Love: A Date Charity Auction
Tuesday, May 3, 7:30pm
Bear's Lair
Proceeds go to Children’s Hospital and Research Center of Oakland

For more information, to submit an application to be pawned off, and to view the profiles of all the participants (as they submit them), please visit

(Speaking of which - does anyone out there have any good pictures of me to submit for my profile? All the pictures I currently have of myself depict me being very drunk or very young. And only one of those traits is hot. I'll let you guess which one.)


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