CalJunket |
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Campus personalities present and past Rebecca C. Brown and Tommaso Sciortino tackle the issues. This week on a very special CalJunket: Rebecca learns not to chew with her mouth open and Tommaso finds out his best friend is addicted to no-doze. Site feed: caljunket.blogspot.com/atom.xml
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Thursday, May 27, 2004
Long Beach says hello to my readers. My brief reprive from school and work was very enjoyable. Thanks for asking. For those of you who will be in the LA area tomorrow night, I highly rebeccommend that you catch my step-dad's 80s cover band Knyght Ryder at Di Piazza's in the LBC! I've actually never seen them perform, but I've heard them rehearse. And they wear tight pants. The highlight of my trip to Long Beach was getting to watch my step-dad's DVDs of the BBC show "The Office." Absolutely the funniest six hours of television produced in the last ten years. Europe does everything better than we do. Television. Fashion. Ecology. Music. Cars. Social democracy. Agricultural regulation legislation. Everything but food. Speaking of food, is Jody Gorran the biggest douche of the week or what? He's the idiot suing Atkins Inc. because the institute's recommended diet gave him high cholesterol and clogged his arteries. That's like filing a lawsuit against the Pope because growing up in a devout Catholic household gave you a pee fetish. What did he expect?! It's also annoying that the organization filing the suit is being identified as an "extremist" animal rights group. Just what I needed. In conclusion, go Flames. And go Lakers. (0) comments Catch you on the flipside....of my trip to Long Beach.
Yeah so I fixed the big bug in the program that was making it undercount. You can still download the latest version (2.28) here. ASUCTabulator.zip Thanks again to Joe Henchman. (0) comments Hipsters and homophobes make strange bedfellows. Saturday, May 15, 2004
So I haven't had a chance to post very much with my new job and not caring anymore. I have however, just finished writing (yet another) program to tally the votes from an ASUC election. It hasn't passed any official tests like the program they've used in recent years, but I will be submitting it to the Election Council technical coordinator to see if they want to use it this year. I wrote it it in java using the fancy netBeans IDE. I even included the ballots from the past three years for people who want to drive themselves crazy trying in vain to reproduce the original results without knowing exactly who special dropped when. (Long story short: for the most part no one thought to write down the special drops in previous elections.) ASUCTabulator.zip here's a screenshot 
Let me know if you find any bugs or if you have comments. Update: I've already noticed a bunch of inefficiencies that can be cleaned up. The current version is 2.1 I’ll be posting 2.2 pretty soon. Update: Version is 2.2 is up. Update: Version is 2.25 is up. Update: Version is 2.27 is up. The other ones have a bug that screws up vote transfers so if you want to do a real count you need this version. (0) comments Why y'all gotta be hatin'? Thursday, May 13, 2004
Boo hiss boo. I was banking on CalSERVE and maybe even Student Action being disqualified as entire parties, so that then (assuming that I got more votes than Alfred Twu and Mo Benny) I, your faithful Blogstress, would by default become your next ASUC EVP. No such luck however, as you can read on CalStuff. The SJP ruling is a joke. As usual, however, many regards to Mike Davis for leading a minority voice of reason and insight. He can be a sopping self-important douche when he wants to be, but he knows the laws and implements them accordingly. He's welcome into my judicial chambers anytime. (And no, Mike, that wasn't meant with any dirty connotations.) As you know, the duties of the position for which I ran are focused around running ASUC senate meetinsg, which are currently very dull. Given that there's a Ghandi's chance in Hell that I'll be EVP, I'd like to provide a list of all the awesome things I would have enstated had I earned the position by accident: - Greek council comprised of actual Greeks. Frome Greece. - Each first Wednesday of the month: costume night in the Senate Chambers. First week's theme: the American Civil War. - Beloved stenographer Steve Litwak replaced by television's own Alan Thicke. - Much more spontaneous breaking out into song. - Minimum two Hoku Jeffrey references per meeting. - EVP's gavel replaced with fresh salmon. - Say the word "community": get comically doused in green slime. - In lieu of budget meeting, heartwarming production of "Fiddler on the Roof," starring Ronald Cruz as Tevye. - Nitrous oxide. Oh yeah. You had your chance, ASUC electorate. You don't know what you're missing. Me. That's what you're missing. (By the way, many combolations to all the graduates of 2004. Especially big congrats to David Duman. You are the wind beneath my wings.) (0) comments No more homework, no more books. No more teachers' dirty looks. Monday, May 10, 2004
The 2004 Stanley Cup Western Conference finals matchup between the San Jose Sharks and Calgary Flames is the best it's been since 1993 when the Los Angeles Kings and Toronto Maple Leafs faced off for a trip to the Big Series. Suntans and migrant labor versus snowballs and progressive income tax. This year's match is even more critical, though, because the Flames are the only Canadian team left in the playoffs, whereas in 1993 the Montreal Canadiens stayed alive in the East and went on to win the Cup. No Canadian team has won it all since the Habs did, and no Canadian team has made it to the Cup finals since the Vancourver Canucks did the following year. Don't get me wrong. On a visceral level I'm rooting for my semi-home team Sharks. (Having discovered hockey while living in Long Beach, I will of course die a Kings fan. But during my tenure in the Bay Area I can afford to relinquish my sense of rivalry and have a second favorite.) But with the Canadian dollar suffering (and with the NHL not doing so well across the board) our teams to the north are losing clout. Remember the Winnipeg Jets and Quebec Nordiques? They got sent to Phoenix and Denver and got slapped with hideous purple logos. It's imperative that the birthplace of hockey remain the home of at least a handful of hockey teams, but this can't happen unless some Canadian teams get their poop together and win a Stanley Cup. Who could have guessed 30 years ago that teams from San Jose and Tampa Bay would be in their conference finals? It's counterintuitive that the Golden State and Sunshine State would enjoy any success in a sport that requires ice. I suppose we have no one to blame but Wayne Gretzky, who in 1992 forfeited his Edmonton dynasty in exchange for millions of dollars and a tan. His legacy inspired thousands of kids to don roller blades and start street hockey teams all over the Sun Belt. The man from Branford, Ontario could even be held repsonsible for the birth of the Anaheim Mighty Ducks, Florida Panthers, and aforementioned Lightning. If anything, Gretzky single-handedly made the NHL a flashy commercial enterprse. I've never reconciled for myself whether that was a victory or a tragedy. In short, yay Flames. And yay Sharks. But yayer Flames. P.S. Five points to whoever guessed that Rebecca is blogging about hockey because she's avoiding writing her 10-page paper for Laura Nader's Controlling Processes course. (0) comments |
Viagra shellfish christmas sluts obsequious cannon chechnya
I expect SPAM with such stunning subject lines as "Get prescribed cialis.., Viagra, Valium, xanax, Diet Pills and much more online!" But "Get prescribed cialis.., Viagra, Valium, xanax, Diet Pills and much more online! Overnight Shipping torque greengrocer genius slocum bradshaw atlantis conformance clasp dishes trailhead yellowish agitate our singlehanded maitre" is less predicatble.
Or "Valium, xanax, cialis.., Viagra, levitra, Phentermine, Xenical & many others prescribed online and shipped overnight neuroses testicle crack caulk conferring exogenous upgrade beneath parsley orthodoxy annihilate instance decompose tarpaper anticipatory failsoft malagasy auxiliary preposterous conformal insurmountable blumenthal greed puffery liverpudlian countermen hill rosenberg pound charity." Insurmountable Blumenthal?
Perhaps the modern spammer is now equipped with one of those Word of the Day calendars.
Could someone with more technical know-how explain to me the advantage of including all these superfluous words in the subject line of junk emails? Enquiring minds want to know.
(0) comments
Sunday, May 09, 2004
Hasta, Senior Deenihan
Kevin at CalStuff has said goodbye, and CalJunket wishes him the best. I probably wouldn't have gotten myself into this mess had it not been for Kevin. I think it was the night when the ASUC election votes were tabulated last year that I got the blogging bug; I saw Kevin moniter CalStuff's traffic, and he had gotten over a thousand hits that night alone. Absolutely inspirational. I'll say it again: I'm only in it for the hits.
CalStuff now belongs to a handfull of youngsters, including three wee Squelchies. The best of luck to them as well.
Soyonara Kevin-san. Cal isn't the same without you.
(0) comments
Saturday, May 08, 2004
CalJunket gets a new look
Rebecca C. Brown cares about her readers. She aims only to please. Therefore she has invested a few hours in the "Template" tab of blogger attempting to make her website a little more attractive and definitively more Cal-esque. (If anything, now CalJunket looks like the old Bearmail site, sans the whimsical rollerskating be-sunspectacled ursa, and with more cursewords.) Continuing within the theme of Rebecca C. Brown being concerned foremost with the happiness of her loyal readers, she would be most greatful if you offered feedback (positive or negative) about the changes and made suggestions as to what could be improved. She would also like to start writing in first person.
Note that she, er, I also changed the comments template. Classy, no?
P.S. Don't forget that tomorrow is Mother's Day. Unless your mother, step-mother, or legal guardian fully appreciates this holiday for what it is (a marketing ploy meant to capitalize on America's guilt for not taking better care of its mothers), I bet your old woman would love to hear from you.
(0) comments
Friday, May 07, 2004
If only they invested this much effort into their magazine
From the idiot savants who brought you Jizzlam comes one of the more impressive mockeries of student government authority that I've ever encountered. Members of the Koala, UCSD's "humor" magazine, reportedly took the Associated Students council meeting by storm, equipped with water balloons, Super Soakers, and a goat. I highly encourage you to read the full account here.
Why doesn't the Heuristic Squelch stage such elaborate pranks on our own ASUC, you might ask. First, we can't afford to piss off the same people who give us money. The Koala, on the other hand, has about a $12 operating budget and doesn't need to make people happy just to make their magazine. Second, we have more important things to do, such as writing jokes.
Three cheers, though, to the Koala staff for their constant pursuit of juvenile mirth.
(0) comments
Thursday, May 06, 2004
What the budget hath wrought
Word on the street has it that the Heuristic Squelch's 2004-2005 budget was allocated last night/this morning at $300-$400 less than it was last year, and as usual much less than it takes for us to produce the magazine. (The rest is made up in advertising.)
Hey watch out. This is the part where I alienate people. Here goes. Smart Ass (that left-leaning political mag) was asking for an addition $800 last night to cover in increase of paper costs next year, yet they do not even attempt to solicit advertising in order to complement their funds. Their representative claimed that the 'zine was already too full of text and that there simply isn't room for ads. Uh...what? So be more selective with your articles! Narf! There's a budget crisis goin' on, Smart Ass, and you haven't reached out to enough of the campus community to go frolicing about asking for more money when you don't even try to generate your own revenue. Another representative conceded that if they do not get more money then they will be forced to seek out ad money.
One interesting aspect of the budget meeting is that Chancellor Robert "Bobby" Berdahl excused the ASUC's debt to his office, provided that at least a certain amount of that waived debt be allocated to recruitment and retention centers. Chancy-B sure loves his diversity. (For those of you unfamiliar, RRC's are given money to recruit certain groups of high school students for Cal, or more generally to encourage them to go to college. The BRRC targets African American youngsters, RAZA seeks out Hispanic kids, and so on.)
I left the meeting at 2am, long before any budget decisions were finalized, and for all I know the meeting could still be going on. With any luck the Squelch, which succeeds issue after issue to please students regardless of their gender, ethnicity, age, major, religion, political affiliation, or stance on that whole Israel/Palestine mess, did in the end receive an equitable amount of money.
My thanks to Squelchies Kevin, Cooper, Ben, David, and especially Dan for investing their many hours into the meeting.
Massive thanks to the senators who have consistently defended the Squelch; they are in the minority, but their support makes a world of difference. Lest I further alienate anyone, I won't bother naming names. Y'all know who you are. Thanks again, all of you. I owe you all scarves.
(0) comments
Tuesday, May 04, 2004
MORE CAL-RELATED NEWS
The Financial Committee reached a balanced budget last night, though of course this needs to be approved by all 20 senators on Wednesday. The Heuristic Squelch was treated fairly, but nothing is finalized, and the Squelch is never safe until the budget is set in stone. We're still being allocated severely less than it takes to produce our magazine; we're one of only a handful of publications and student groups who has actually decreased in funding over the last two years, and our precentage decrease since then is one of the highest.
(0) comments
Monday, May 03, 2004
BREAKING CAL-RELATED NEWS!
This just in: Senator Leybovich is receiving one (1) censure for SPAM-Gate.
This also just in: If elected, Senator Leybovich pledges to be the buffest president in ASUC history.
In other news, the Financial Committee heard appeals (and is hearing appeals) from several student groups regarding recently proposed cuts. Representatives from the award-winning Heuristic Squelch eloquently explained why its funding should not be cut in excess of the percentage cuts doled out to all student groups in the face of a financial crisis. The results of this meeting will be known sometime in the wee hours of tomorrow, then finalized at Wednesday's senate meeting.
(0) comments
Sunday, May 02, 2004
Dealing with the SALS
Do you or someone you know suffer from increased sensitivity to the discomfort of coerced collective efforts? Does government intervention cause you to break out in hives? Do you have trouble acknowledging inefficiencies in markets systems? Can you hear voices, but have difficulty understanding words? You may suffer from Sever Acute Libertarian Syndrome and you should know the warning signs.
SALS can strike at any time. Like stroke victims who may lose feeling on one side, people suffering from SALS may not be able to sense any dangers from unchecked corporate power. SALS victims are generally not able to distinguish between working together for the common good and being forced into a nazi concentration camp. SALS victims will always be strong supporters of democracy, but would like those democracies to be small, powerless, and generally inconsequential.
When SALS victims take their beliefs to their logical conclusion, they will claim that even the military and the draft are horrible threats to their freedom. People at this stage of infection generally do not have long to live before they get cancer and die (lest they impose their will on the non-conformist cancer cells). For this reason, most living SALS victims you will meet are only at the stage of infection where they claim that it’s important to keep a standing military to defend against armed enemies, but not a standing fire department to defend against fires.
SALS should not be accused with other diseases. TS or Tolerance Syndrome strikes those who wish that pot were legal and the government kept its nose out of things that don’t affect other people. RGS or Rich Guy Syndrom strikes those have so much money that they would honestly have more power and freedom in the Mad Max style world desired by SALS victims.
(0) comments
Kevin at CalStuff has said goodbye, and CalJunket wishes him the best. I probably wouldn't have gotten myself into this mess had it not been for Kevin. I think it was the night when the ASUC election votes were tabulated last year that I got the blogging bug; I saw Kevin moniter CalStuff's traffic, and he had gotten over a thousand hits that night alone. Absolutely inspirational. I'll say it again: I'm only in it for the hits.
CalStuff now belongs to a handfull of youngsters, including three wee Squelchies. The best of luck to them as well.
Soyonara Kevin-san. Cal isn't the same without you.
(0) comments
CalJunket gets a new look
Rebecca C. Brown cares about her readers. She aims only to please. Therefore she has invested a few hours in the "Template" tab of blogger attempting to make her website a little more attractive and definitively more Cal-esque. (If anything, now CalJunket looks like the old Bearmail site, sans the whimsical rollerskating be-sunspectacled ursa, and with more cursewords.) Continuing within the theme of Rebecca C. Brown being concerned foremost with the happiness of her loyal readers, she would be most greatful if you offered feedback (positive or negative) about the changes and made suggestions as to what could be improved. She would also like to start writing in first person.
Note that she, er, I also changed the comments template. Classy, no?
P.S. Don't forget that tomorrow is Mother's Day. Unless your mother, step-mother, or legal guardian fully appreciates this holiday for what it is (a marketing ploy meant to capitalize on America's guilt for not taking better care of its mothers), I bet your old woman would love to hear from you.
(0) comments
Friday, May 07, 2004
If only they invested this much effort into their magazine
From the idiot savants who brought you Jizzlam comes one of the more impressive mockeries of student government authority that I've ever encountered. Members of the Koala, UCSD's "humor" magazine, reportedly took the Associated Students council meeting by storm, equipped with water balloons, Super Soakers, and a goat. I highly encourage you to read the full account here.
Why doesn't the Heuristic Squelch stage such elaborate pranks on our own ASUC, you might ask. First, we can't afford to piss off the same people who give us money. The Koala, on the other hand, has about a $12 operating budget and doesn't need to make people happy just to make their magazine. Second, we have more important things to do, such as writing jokes.
Three cheers, though, to the Koala staff for their constant pursuit of juvenile mirth.
(0) comments
Thursday, May 06, 2004
What the budget hath wrought
Word on the street has it that the Heuristic Squelch's 2004-2005 budget was allocated last night/this morning at $300-$400 less than it was last year, and as usual much less than it takes for us to produce the magazine. (The rest is made up in advertising.)
Hey watch out. This is the part where I alienate people. Here goes. Smart Ass (that left-leaning political mag) was asking for an addition $800 last night to cover in increase of paper costs next year, yet they do not even attempt to solicit advertising in order to complement their funds. Their representative claimed that the 'zine was already too full of text and that there simply isn't room for ads. Uh...what? So be more selective with your articles! Narf! There's a budget crisis goin' on, Smart Ass, and you haven't reached out to enough of the campus community to go frolicing about asking for more money when you don't even try to generate your own revenue. Another representative conceded that if they do not get more money then they will be forced to seek out ad money.
One interesting aspect of the budget meeting is that Chancellor Robert "Bobby" Berdahl excused the ASUC's debt to his office, provided that at least a certain amount of that waived debt be allocated to recruitment and retention centers. Chancy-B sure loves his diversity. (For those of you unfamiliar, RRC's are given money to recruit certain groups of high school students for Cal, or more generally to encourage them to go to college. The BRRC targets African American youngsters, RAZA seeks out Hispanic kids, and so on.)
I left the meeting at 2am, long before any budget decisions were finalized, and for all I know the meeting could still be going on. With any luck the Squelch, which succeeds issue after issue to please students regardless of their gender, ethnicity, age, major, religion, political affiliation, or stance on that whole Israel/Palestine mess, did in the end receive an equitable amount of money.
My thanks to Squelchies Kevin, Cooper, Ben, David, and especially Dan for investing their many hours into the meeting.
Massive thanks to the senators who have consistently defended the Squelch; they are in the minority, but their support makes a world of difference. Lest I further alienate anyone, I won't bother naming names. Y'all know who you are. Thanks again, all of you. I owe you all scarves.
(0) comments
Tuesday, May 04, 2004
MORE CAL-RELATED NEWS
The Financial Committee reached a balanced budget last night, though of course this needs to be approved by all 20 senators on Wednesday. The Heuristic Squelch was treated fairly, but nothing is finalized, and the Squelch is never safe until the budget is set in stone. We're still being allocated severely less than it takes to produce our magazine; we're one of only a handful of publications and student groups who has actually decreased in funding over the last two years, and our precentage decrease since then is one of the highest.
(0) comments
Monday, May 03, 2004
BREAKING CAL-RELATED NEWS!
This just in: Senator Leybovich is receiving one (1) censure for SPAM-Gate.
This also just in: If elected, Senator Leybovich pledges to be the buffest president in ASUC history.
In other news, the Financial Committee heard appeals (and is hearing appeals) from several student groups regarding recently proposed cuts. Representatives from the award-winning Heuristic Squelch eloquently explained why its funding should not be cut in excess of the percentage cuts doled out to all student groups in the face of a financial crisis. The results of this meeting will be known sometime in the wee hours of tomorrow, then finalized at Wednesday's senate meeting.
(0) comments
Sunday, May 02, 2004
Dealing with the SALS
Do you or someone you know suffer from increased sensitivity to the discomfort of coerced collective efforts? Does government intervention cause you to break out in hives? Do you have trouble acknowledging inefficiencies in markets systems? Can you hear voices, but have difficulty understanding words? You may suffer from Sever Acute Libertarian Syndrome and you should know the warning signs.
SALS can strike at any time. Like stroke victims who may lose feeling on one side, people suffering from SALS may not be able to sense any dangers from unchecked corporate power. SALS victims are generally not able to distinguish between working together for the common good and being forced into a nazi concentration camp. SALS victims will always be strong supporters of democracy, but would like those democracies to be small, powerless, and generally inconsequential.
When SALS victims take their beliefs to their logical conclusion, they will claim that even the military and the draft are horrible threats to their freedom. People at this stage of infection generally do not have long to live before they get cancer and die (lest they impose their will on the non-conformist cancer cells). For this reason, most living SALS victims you will meet are only at the stage of infection where they claim that it’s important to keep a standing military to defend against armed enemies, but not a standing fire department to defend against fires.
SALS should not be accused with other diseases. TS or Tolerance Syndrome strikes those who wish that pot were legal and the government kept its nose out of things that don’t affect other people. RGS or Rich Guy Syndrom strikes those have so much money that they would honestly have more power and freedom in the Mad Max style world desired by SALS victims.
(0) comments
From the idiot savants who brought you Jizzlam comes one of the more impressive mockeries of student government authority that I've ever encountered. Members of the Koala, UCSD's "humor" magazine, reportedly took the Associated Students council meeting by storm, equipped with water balloons, Super Soakers, and a goat. I highly encourage you to read the full account here.
Why doesn't the Heuristic Squelch stage such elaborate pranks on our own ASUC, you might ask. First, we can't afford to piss off the same people who give us money. The Koala, on the other hand, has about a $12 operating budget and doesn't need to make people happy just to make their magazine. Second, we have more important things to do, such as writing jokes.
Three cheers, though, to the Koala staff for their constant pursuit of juvenile mirth.
(0) comments
What the budget hath wrought
Word on the street has it that the Heuristic Squelch's 2004-2005 budget was allocated last night/this morning at $300-$400 less than it was last year, and as usual much less than it takes for us to produce the magazine. (The rest is made up in advertising.)
Hey watch out. This is the part where I alienate people. Here goes. Smart Ass (that left-leaning political mag) was asking for an addition $800 last night to cover in increase of paper costs next year, yet they do not even attempt to solicit advertising in order to complement their funds. Their representative claimed that the 'zine was already too full of text and that there simply isn't room for ads. Uh...what? So be more selective with your articles! Narf! There's a budget crisis goin' on, Smart Ass, and you haven't reached out to enough of the campus community to go frolicing about asking for more money when you don't even try to generate your own revenue. Another representative conceded that if they do not get more money then they will be forced to seek out ad money.
One interesting aspect of the budget meeting is that Chancellor Robert "Bobby" Berdahl excused the ASUC's debt to his office, provided that at least a certain amount of that waived debt be allocated to recruitment and retention centers. Chancy-B sure loves his diversity. (For those of you unfamiliar, RRC's are given money to recruit certain groups of high school students for Cal, or more generally to encourage them to go to college. The BRRC targets African American youngsters, RAZA seeks out Hispanic kids, and so on.)
I left the meeting at 2am, long before any budget decisions were finalized, and for all I know the meeting could still be going on. With any luck the Squelch, which succeeds issue after issue to please students regardless of their gender, ethnicity, age, major, religion, political affiliation, or stance on that whole Israel/Palestine mess, did in the end receive an equitable amount of money.
My thanks to Squelchies Kevin, Cooper, Ben, David, and especially Dan for investing their many hours into the meeting.
Massive thanks to the senators who have consistently defended the Squelch; they are in the minority, but their support makes a world of difference. Lest I further alienate anyone, I won't bother naming names. Y'all know who you are. Thanks again, all of you. I owe you all scarves.
(0) comments
Tuesday, May 04, 2004
MORE CAL-RELATED NEWS
The Financial Committee reached a balanced budget last night, though of course this needs to be approved by all 20 senators on Wednesday. The Heuristic Squelch was treated fairly, but nothing is finalized, and the Squelch is never safe until the budget is set in stone. We're still being allocated severely less than it takes to produce our magazine; we're one of only a handful of publications and student groups who has actually decreased in funding over the last two years, and our precentage decrease since then is one of the highest.
(0) comments
Monday, May 03, 2004
BREAKING CAL-RELATED NEWS!
This just in: Senator Leybovich is receiving one (1) censure for SPAM-Gate.
This also just in: If elected, Senator Leybovich pledges to be the buffest president in ASUC history.
In other news, the Financial Committee heard appeals (and is hearing appeals) from several student groups regarding recently proposed cuts. Representatives from the award-winning Heuristic Squelch eloquently explained why its funding should not be cut in excess of the percentage cuts doled out to all student groups in the face of a financial crisis. The results of this meeting will be known sometime in the wee hours of tomorrow, then finalized at Wednesday's senate meeting.
(0) comments
Sunday, May 02, 2004
Dealing with the SALS
Do you or someone you know suffer from increased sensitivity to the discomfort of coerced collective efforts? Does government intervention cause you to break out in hives? Do you have trouble acknowledging inefficiencies in markets systems? Can you hear voices, but have difficulty understanding words? You may suffer from Sever Acute Libertarian Syndrome and you should know the warning signs.
SALS can strike at any time. Like stroke victims who may lose feeling on one side, people suffering from SALS may not be able to sense any dangers from unchecked corporate power. SALS victims are generally not able to distinguish between working together for the common good and being forced into a nazi concentration camp. SALS victims will always be strong supporters of democracy, but would like those democracies to be small, powerless, and generally inconsequential.
When SALS victims take their beliefs to their logical conclusion, they will claim that even the military and the draft are horrible threats to their freedom. People at this stage of infection generally do not have long to live before they get cancer and die (lest they impose their will on the non-conformist cancer cells). For this reason, most living SALS victims you will meet are only at the stage of infection where they claim that it’s important to keep a standing military to defend against armed enemies, but not a standing fire department to defend against fires.
SALS should not be accused with other diseases. TS or Tolerance Syndrome strikes those who wish that pot were legal and the government kept its nose out of things that don’t affect other people. RGS or Rich Guy Syndrom strikes those have so much money that they would honestly have more power and freedom in the Mad Max style world desired by SALS victims.
(0) comments
The Financial Committee reached a balanced budget last night, though of course this needs to be approved by all 20 senators on Wednesday. The Heuristic Squelch was treated fairly, but nothing is finalized, and the Squelch is never safe until the budget is set in stone. We're still being allocated severely less than it takes to produce our magazine; we're one of only a handful of publications and student groups who has actually decreased in funding over the last two years, and our precentage decrease since then is one of the highest.
(0) comments
BREAKING CAL-RELATED NEWS!
This just in: Senator Leybovich is receiving one (1) censure for SPAM-Gate.
This also just in: If elected, Senator Leybovich pledges to be the buffest president in ASUC history.
In other news, the Financial Committee heard appeals (and is hearing appeals) from several student groups regarding recently proposed cuts. Representatives from the award-winning Heuristic Squelch eloquently explained why its funding should not be cut in excess of the percentage cuts doled out to all student groups in the face of a financial crisis. The results of this meeting will be known sometime in the wee hours of tomorrow, then finalized at Wednesday's senate meeting.
(0) comments
Sunday, May 02, 2004
Dealing with the SALS
Do you or someone you know suffer from increased sensitivity to the discomfort of coerced collective efforts? Does government intervention cause you to break out in hives? Do you have trouble acknowledging inefficiencies in markets systems? Can you hear voices, but have difficulty understanding words? You may suffer from Sever Acute Libertarian Syndrome and you should know the warning signs.
SALS can strike at any time. Like stroke victims who may lose feeling on one side, people suffering from SALS may not be able to sense any dangers from unchecked corporate power. SALS victims are generally not able to distinguish between working together for the common good and being forced into a nazi concentration camp. SALS victims will always be strong supporters of democracy, but would like those democracies to be small, powerless, and generally inconsequential.
When SALS victims take their beliefs to their logical conclusion, they will claim that even the military and the draft are horrible threats to their freedom. People at this stage of infection generally do not have long to live before they get cancer and die (lest they impose their will on the non-conformist cancer cells). For this reason, most living SALS victims you will meet are only at the stage of infection where they claim that it’s important to keep a standing military to defend against armed enemies, but not a standing fire department to defend against fires.
SALS should not be accused with other diseases. TS or Tolerance Syndrome strikes those who wish that pot were legal and the government kept its nose out of things that don’t affect other people. RGS or Rich Guy Syndrom strikes those have so much money that they would honestly have more power and freedom in the Mad Max style world desired by SALS victims.
(0) comments
Do you or someone you know suffer from increased sensitivity to the discomfort of coerced collective efforts? Does government intervention cause you to break out in hives? Do you have trouble acknowledging inefficiencies in markets systems? Can you hear voices, but have difficulty understanding words? You may suffer from Sever Acute Libertarian Syndrome and you should know the warning signs.
SALS can strike at any time. Like stroke victims who may lose feeling on one side, people suffering from SALS may not be able to sense any dangers from unchecked corporate power. SALS victims are generally not able to distinguish between working together for the common good and being forced into a nazi concentration camp. SALS victims will always be strong supporters of democracy, but would like those democracies to be small, powerless, and generally inconsequential.
When SALS victims take their beliefs to their logical conclusion, they will claim that even the military and the draft are horrible threats to their freedom. People at this stage of infection generally do not have long to live before they get cancer and die (lest they impose their will on the non-conformist cancer cells). For this reason, most living SALS victims you will meet are only at the stage of infection where they claim that it’s important to keep a standing military to defend against armed enemies, but not a standing fire department to defend against fires.
SALS should not be accused with other diseases. TS or Tolerance Syndrome strikes those who wish that pot were legal and the government kept its nose out of things that don’t affect other people. RGS or Rich Guy Syndrom strikes those have so much money that they would honestly have more power and freedom in the Mad Max style world desired by SALS victims.
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