CalJunket

Monday, September 29, 2003

Oh, Florida! Will you ever win?

In one of the more flagrant examples of defying a stupid law with an even more stupid (and harmful and disgusting) protest, the Florida band Hell on Earth (whose music I can only assume is sub-par... Can you blame me? They're called Hell on Earth!) plans to include an onstage suicide in one of their performances and broadcast it on their website. The groups is attempting to speak out against a new law in their city of St. Petersburg that prohibits physician-assisted suicide.

Call me old-fashioned, but I take life pretty seriously. So seriously that I won't even eat a crab, who probably has the neurological capacity of my left thumb. Furthermore, I take quality of life pretty seriously. So seriously that I refuse to drink the milk of a cow who was treated like anything less than a valued house pet. Thus, and I do not belive I am contradicting my previous contention that all life is equally valuable, I respect a person's desire to end his life if he is truly in pain and has no desire to continue living. But, in keeping with that whole "life is valuable" argument, I think the option of suicide should be evaluated and ever so carefully scrutinized with a professional physician and the patient's family or friends. I think the state has a right to legally mandate that its doctors discourage suicide and refuse to assist death unless there is no alternative pain remedy. But a terminally ill adult should have the final say on his condition. Therefore, I think it's a dumb law with good intentions.

There are no good intentions, however, behind Hell on Earth's stunt. Death is tragic and, moreover, personal, not commercial or sensational. If the group genuinely saw injustice in their city's law, they could very well work with health care officials and local politicians, armed with research and first-hand testimonial, to revoke the law. Instead they have chosen to make a mockery of the pain of suicide.

In unrelated news, I had a fairly successful trip to the dentist today. (If any of you with Delta PMI need to find a dentist in the area, I'd highly recommend this one. Berkeley Hills Dental Care. On Telegraph and Woosley. Not in the hills.) I had the base filling for a crown put in after a good 30 minutes of drilling. If any inordinate pain or breakage occurs in the next two weeks, a root canal will be my ultimate fate. While in my mouth, Dr. Nikfarjam also noticed that I need to get at least one of my sprouting wisdom teeth removed. I can't wait.


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Sunday, September 28, 2003

Another blog for your blog-visiting repotoire

That's right. More words from me and five other students who love music enough to write about it. The title will be changed shortly, but I suggest you start reading now. Click here.


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Saturday, September 27, 2003

CAL WINS: 34-31!!!!
(Rebecca Loses: Her Sunglasses; Subsequently Finds Them Between the Cushions)


Excellent game.

I hail originally from Southern California. Long Beach to be precise. A few of my high school aquaintences attended USC. They're now spending five times what I do for a comparable education. Not that it has anything to do with football. Just saying is all.

"Take off that red car!"

I viewed the game from the comfort of a frat house. A dozen or so alumni came over to the house for today's event. It seems the majority of frat boys age to become frat men. The Frat Graduation Package includes a baseball cap, khaki shorts, a blond wife, and a sense of entitlement. Just saying is all.

On an 80's flashback note, the Cal band is currently eating hot dogs at the frat after playing a few spirited songs for the brothers and alum; one alum requested "Lady in Red." Ouch.


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Friday, September 26, 2003

NEWSBREAK: Doors of East Elevator in Eschleman Hall Opening Very Slowly

More news as it comes in...


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Tuesday, September 23, 2003

ACLU declines to appeal recall election decision, diverts resources to delaying outdated and unreliable Christmas.

San Francisco, CA - The Ninth U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals decided today that the unprecedented California recall election will take place on October 7 as originally scheduled, despite the contetnion from the American Civil Liberties Union that outdated punch-card ballots are less accurate than electronic voting systems and thus disefranchise thousands of voters from dense minority populations in six counties throughout the state.

The ACLU took today's ruling in stride, and shortly after the court's decision announced that they have more ambitious plans on the horizon. ACLU presidnet Nadine Strossen told reporters Tuesday that their next project is to delay Christmas, which the organization beleives is inaccurate and unreliable, and which is specifically unfair to minorities.

The case will be heard by the US Supreme Court this coming Friday.

Said Strossen, "Data from all around the nation indicate that poor and minority children are the most likely to receive crappy Christmas gifts, if in fact they receive gifts at all. In nearly every community included in the study, African American and Latino youngsters more than any other ethnic groups were the victims of pre-used gifts, gifts from Walmart, a piece of fruit in lieu of a real gift, or simply no gifts whatsoever. This is unfair. Absolutely unfair."

ACLU spokespeople are citing outdated equipment and profiling as the source of these discrepencies. According to the group, Santa Claus' sleigh, deer, and elves do not have the technology to serve every American child equally, prompting Claus to distribute his limited resources disproportinally to rich white kids whose parents have wider chimneys and superior cookies.

The group is asking for a six month delay of the holiday, which should give Claus and his faculty ample time to update toy production and distribution systems, including speedier, more ergonomically sound toy-building technology and more accurate electronic checking-it-twice devices. They are also requesting that diveristy training be legally mandated for each North Pole staff member.

Claus' spokesmen Jingle and Jangle deny allegations that his distribution techniques are unfair, and are confident that the court will rule in his favor.


(I'm not sure why I wrote this. I'm actually on the ACLU's side. On both issues.)


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Monday, September 22, 2003

I'm darn tootin' furious

Alright, CalSERVE. I just about had enough. In fact, I'm officially pissed off. And no, I'm not being sarcastic this time, though if you thought I was I would understand because my most emphatic headlines and opening comments usually are; no offense taken. Even if it wasn't illegal to spend $35,000 (a little over a dollar per student) of ASUC money on non-campus political campaigns, it would still be in poor taste. This money could instead have been used to fund 175 new Student Initiated Student Groups (SISGs) or 11 issues (11,000 copies per issue) of the Heuristic Squelch or 83,333 39-cent cheeseburgers at McDonalds (and that includes tax!). Seemingly no amount of money will be enough to convince CalSERVE that they are not a national lobby group. No amount of negative campus media coverage can convince Quindel and the GA that our fees are not intended to cover stipends, food and beverages, or state-wide political campaigns.

Normally (today being an exception) I grow so weary of and confused by campus politics that I shove my head into the sand and discuss federal politics or the environment or boobies or anything else when I should, like the good little Cal blogger I am, be bellowing about the ASUC. Frankly, ASUC politics bores me to salty, legally-subsidized tears. Which is why I would be an ideal ASUC senator or executive office holder. That's right, I'm officially announcing my candidacy for some office; maybe Student Advocate. Here is why you should vote for me:

- I believe the money given to the ASUC by students belongs soley to students. These funds should be used to service the campus community through student groups, student publications, and a bit to the Greeks. But especially student organizations that provide free (and hilarious) magazines, free concerts, or free services to students of Cal. Not AIDS orphans. Don't get me wrong; I have nothing but sympathy for AIDS orphans and, when I work my way into national politics, will do something about it. Just not with your campus money.

- I've got a wonderful speaking voice. I tad shrill at times, but my grammar is exemplary, and I impressively avoid the insipid words "uh" and "like" for the most part.

- I want the services provided by the ASUC to encompass more of the campus community. This includes more low-priced or free entertainment events and more publications. And fewer events (such as the ASUC ball) that are funded by all students but can only be enjoyed by a few hundred students at a time for about $30 a pop.

- I'm surprisingly conservative when it comes to campus politics. I guess by conservative I simply mean pragmatic. The ASUC does not exist to make all Americans' lives better (that's what the real-life government is for), and despite my staunch liberalism on the national front, my campus politics are aimed entirely on giving each student the opportunity to get his $35 worth.

- Free cookies for all! Actually, I take that back. Get your own damn cookies.

So what do you think? Are you with me? I'm with me. Vote Brown '04.


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Wednesday, September 17, 2003

The third parties among us.
Also, the knarliest looking man in America.


Not surprisingly, I love watching candidate debates, especially those where a third-party or lesser-known candidate has been invited to offer a "fresh" outlook on the issues. I have noticed in watching panel debates including Peter Camejo that audience response is always positive; the "major" candidates are also well received, but Camejo's (or Huffington's, or McClintock's, or Uberroth's, or frickin' Ross Perot's, for example) refreshing and straightforward views tend to yield spontaneous and surprised applause. Further, when I discuss politics with my friends and family, issue by issue, their views align more closely to those of a third-party or underdog candidate (read "novelty" candidate) than with one of the major two.

The Democrats and Republicans in exclusion have failed and continue to fail to adequately represent Americans. No viable candidate in the Republican party has been willing to simultaneously say No to abortion, tax increases, federal supremacy, strict gun control, dumping money into social services, and all the "standard" right wing tenents. Alternately, no probable Democratic candidate has renounced the death penalty, tax cuts, loose environmental regulations, integration of god and government, and all those other typically left-wing views. Without a doubt both the Dems and the Reps have been riddled with political corruption and at times appear to be the alarmingly vacant puppets of lobbyists. While often many Americans feel that one of the Major Two candidates fully represents them, a very substantial number of Americans do not and instead compromise by voting for whoever comes closer.

And yet this nation clings fastidiously to a strict two party system, wherein pundits and politicians and the populous convince themselves that having viable thrid and fourth parties is impracticle and idealistic and impossible. (Did you like that little bout with alliteration? I sure did.) Thousands of Americans who felt that Ralph Nader had a better plan for the country than Al Gore voted for Gore simply because "Nader has no chance of winning." In 1992, the strength of a preeminant third-party was proven when Perot earned 19% of the vote. Ninteen! Percent! Bush (The First) got only 37%, less than twice that of Perot. Undoubtedly Perot's numbers would have been much higher had fiscally conservative Americans voted their concience, voted on the issues, instead of voting for who they think had a better chance of winning. In 2000, there were public records of West Coast voters waiting until East Coast election results pointed to a secure Gore victory so they could comfortably vote for Nader. (A lot of good it did them, ultimately.) To paraphrase my mother, I love what Camejo says, but Davis is so much less worse than Simon. American politics has devolved into voting for a lesser of two evils.

What are European nations with robust production, socialized health care and higher education, and life expectancies that exceed those in America by 2-5 years doing to manage more than two political parties? Why do people in our nation insist that multiple-party systems are out of reach? I don't get it.

On a semi-unrelated note, have you ever noticed how creepy-looking James Craville is? He's pretty creepy-looking.




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Tuesday, September 16, 2003

If only I had an empire that could be subsequently ruined by neglect and corruption. Sigh.

Sadly, the number of daily hits to my little website is not up to my standards. Furthermore, commenting threads are either very short or, more commonly, nonexistent. And as I've previously discussed, I'm only in this blogging business to crutch my little ego, and this climate of few hits and comments is not conducive to that end. Thus the following is a series of incendiary remarks and buzzwords that might yield more consumer response.

I sure wish an illiterate with a long criminal record were elected to the presidency. Ben Affleck. The federal government should ban peanut butter. Britney Spears. Timothy McVeigh is an American hero. Nude teens XXX. Styx is the greatest rock and roll band of all time. Penis enlargement at discount prices. White people should pay a priveledge tax. Free porn. Saddam looks great in khakis. Japanese school girl cum sluts. Public education should be subsidized by the Coca Cola Corporation and shoud be compulsory to the age 31 and should only meet on weekends and holy days. Sexy moms take it all over the face from big black studs. A lone third-party candidate should be admitted into an election after being tested against all other third-party candidates in a pool that is narrowed down through an elaborate and lethal scavenger hunt which shall continue till only the strongest survives; the victor will in turn be put to death by means of hungry-endangered-white-tiger=eating-squad because it's not like he or she is gonna win anyway; this event should be televised. Naked celebrity horoscope teen stripper pamela anderson whore halle barrie cum junkie brad pitt full anal tom skerrit cock blow lewinsky juicy pee fetish boobies.


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Monday, September 15, 2003

OH SWEET MOTHER OF MERCY GOD SAVE ME NOW MY LIFE IS SO HARD WITH THE PAIN AND THE SUFFERING AND THE DIFFICULTIES INCURRED BY POSTPONING THE ELECTION SO I WANT TO KILL MYSELF IT IS A TRAGEDY TIMES SEVEN

Oh, wait, no. That's not what I meant. What I meant was, I'm pleased with the postponment, if it in fact comes into being. I think it's a wonderful idea. These dense and substanitally non-white counties deserve the most accurate and efficient vote-counting system available, just as any county does.

Having elections on Tuesdays during hours when most people need to be at work proves counterproductive to the democratic process. (And yes, a good number of people, especially those who have crappy low-paying jobs, have to be on the way to work, at work, or on the way home from work during all open poll hours.) Making people drag their lazy butts out to the polls once (during the same election as the presidential primaries) in a twelve-month period instead of twice will be beneficial. (I'd like to see elections take place over two days on Friday and Saturday so almost everyone will have sufficient time to get to the polls. The easier voting is the better.)

Besides the mild annoyance it may cause to the candidates and votership, I can't think of a legitimate reason to oppose the postponement. But I bet you guys can.

P.S. David is back at Lighterside after a long hiatus. He's a busy man.


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Saturday, September 13, 2003

Your unique brand of physical comedy and penchant for acting out wacky misunderstandings will be sorely missed.

This morning from CalJunket's Uncle Steve via email:

John Ritter
Johnny Cash
"Hogan's Heroes" co-star, and brilliant "Liar's Club" panelist, Larry Hovis

Such tragedies do come in threes.

America is now officially rudderless.
God save us.


All kidding aside, I feel strongly for Ritter's family and friends, who along with the rest of the nation took his passing as a shock. All that I have ever heard or seen from the media indicates that John Ritter was a repectable character with great acting versatility.

Johnny Cash has died not long after his wife of several decades passed away. Such love is hard to find.


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Thursday, September 11, 2003

Happy birthday, Rebecca C. Brown. Love, Rebecca C. Brown
Plus, some tips on staying fit.


In case my self-indulgent self-promotion of my self has evaded you, I'm letting you know that today is my twentieth birthday. In honor of the process of aging, I'm going to offer some tips for staying trim without trying. 'Cause frankly, I love food and hate excercising. I love food that is bad for me. And I really, really hate excercising. However, I also enjoy maintaining good blood pressure and a healthy body mass index. Here's how to make your body work for you!

Unleash the secret power of water. Intuitively enough, drinking lots of water throughout the day keeps your metabolism going. The benefits of drinking this beverage with meals is twofold: your tummy gets filled with water instead of food so you're less likely to overeat, plus it also helps get your gastric action started to increase the efficiency of your metabolism. Some other perks to the universal solvent: your sweat is more innocuoulsy odored, your skin looks better, you're less prone to embarassing gas, and the continual need to pee gives you a valid excuse to step out of lecture for a bathroom break. Just be sure not to drink so much water that your electrolyte balance is skewed; this can lead to heart attacks. Heart attacks are not fun.

Walk, foo.' It's been reported that overweight people who park at the far end of the parking lot and work and on errands, thus necessitating a few extra minutes of walking each day, have lost five pounds in less than a month. Not only does walking instead of driving help burn a few calories, it more importantly keeps your body's metabolism higher throughout the day and while you sleep. And it tones your buns. Mmmm...toned buns.

Eat. Again with the metabolism thing. If you go more than a four or five hours with an empty stomach, your body gets angry and starts slowing down. Your body can only assume that each meal it receives is the last before a long, harsh winter or scorching summer without food. If you give it small meals and snacks every few hours, it'll start to trust that it can burn freely without fear of a week long fast. (The phenomenon of your body automactically preparing for frozen winter fasts is especially problematic for us ladies, whose bodies are prepared to store enough food [fat] for us AND our unborn babies, just in case we get pregnant. Stupid body.)

More specifically, eat fruits and vegetables. They taste great, they're refreshing, they're loaded with vitamins, plus they're low in calories and high in fiber. High fiber means your GI system needs to work a little harder, which helps your metabolism keep on its toes. High fiber also means high gas, unfortunately. But it helps absorb cholesterol and prevent colon cancer.

Don't grow older than the age of 23. That's when it really starts going downhill.

Be born genetically predisposed to low blood pressure, low cholesterol, high metabolism, and lean muscle mass. Hey, it works for me and my sister.

Lastly, become involved in an emotionally enriching relationship with a strong foundation of honesty, trust, and lots of sex-having. First, sex burns calories, if you're doing it right. Second, this kind of partnership will help remind you that you're an attractive and valuable person no matter how flabby you are.


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Tuesday, September 09, 2003

Mirror, mirror, down the hall. Who is the laziest blogger of them all?

I'll give you a hint...Me! I was planning on weighing in on this Proposition 54 madness today anyway, then somehow my Prop 54 ranting resources were absorbed on CalStuff. Thus I present to you a re-publishing of my portion of the commenting thread from the aforementioned blog. I'm so lazy that I'm even going to leave in the typos. (I've omitted the names of my fellow commentators, just in case they don't feel like being so explicitly dragged onto my site.)

Dude #1 writes: ...Prop. 54 is not about ending backdoor affirmative action. It is about moving toward the ideal of a colorblind America. In this, it has great symbolic and perhaps even practical value....

I Respond: Don't deliberately be a dope, Dude #1. [Oh how I love calling people dopes.] At the very least, don't throw around the phrase "color blind society" as if our state's paperwork was the main obstacle between our current status and an ideal of equality.

Most likely, state educational facilities do not discriminate against non-whites/non-east Asians (or whites/east Asians, for that matter) in the admissions process. Hoever, there are many other state/public/private institutions in our society in which people ARE being judged by their appearance (not least of which is our judicial system). The discrimniation does not occur when someone circles an ethnicity on his hospital information; the discrimination occurs in real life, face-to-face, in a way that cannot be measured directly. It can, however, be measured empirically by collecting data about the number of blacks in higher education, about the number of latinos in upper management, about the number "not traditionally successful" Asians in prison, etc. We can in turn use this data to address problems in education and law that might contribute to disproportionalities in both crime and higher education.

Racism isn't on paper; it hasn't been since the 14th Amendment. Racism in in people's brains, and it's not going to be eliminated by eliminating the paperwork.

I'm on to you, supporters of 54. You're not out to discourage discrimination against traditionally mistreated minorities. You're out to make sure that your being white doesn't lose you a spot in college. Look around you on the Cal campus; there's no shortage of white people, however there's only a smattering of African Americans. Prop 209 passed. Get over it.

Dude #2 writes: Rebecca, you don't understand. We believe society cannot get beyond racial equality when our government legitimizes racial division.

Dude #3 writes: Well, I'm out to make sure that being white doesn't lose me a spot in college. There's something wrong with that? What about those folks out to make sure being black doesn't lose them a spot in college? What are they up to?

I respond: First, Dude #3, I take no issue with those of us who feel our whitehood should not make us less desireable college students; furthermore, I strongly disagree that being black inherently makes you a more desireable student. I'll say it one more time: I declare "Boo" to affirmative action and quotas. My assertion is that proponents of Prop 54 are disguising their desire to kill all forms of affirmative action as some I Have a Dream ideology of color blind equality.

As for "We believe society cannot get beyond racial equality when our government legitimizes racial division."...Racial divisions are not necessarily bad or discriminatory. Though the categories dilineated as "race" or "ethnicity" are blurry and increasingly transmutable (just as the dualism of male/female is increasingly malleable), these distinctions are crucial to culteral identity and understanding of history. Pretneding that different ethnicities don't exist completely deligimizes the fact that an African American and I (who am white) may have experienced different sub-cultures within the larger Californian culture as determined by our ethnicity. Following the "isn't it great how we're all the same?" rhetoric we learn from Saturday morning cartoons invalidates all non-majority cultures and beliefs. In short, racial (I would prefer to say ethnic) divisions don't damage our society; in fact, they enrich our culture, and the recognition of these differences is essential to tolerance. Rather, society is damaged when these distinctions are used to discriminate and harm.

So anyway I think I got my opinion across fairly well. Also from this very comment thread I got a little help expressing my beliefs from an old friend. (Whether he wanted to help me or not is up for debate.)

Tommaso Sciortino writes: [He warrants no anonymity. As soon as you see a man in his underwear, you're free to publicly use his name in any accurate context.] Whoa there, let's not let this morph into a debate about affirmative action. Let's stay on topic. Information is power. We all agree that we don't have a color blind society, but we shouldn't stop our state from checking to see if we're there yet. As I see it, prop 54 removes from political debate important information that can be used to inform legislators and electorate alike. If there's a particular application of the data you find offensive, fine, let's argue that. But let's not clap our hands over our ears and sing "la la la, we have no racial income inequality, la la la"..

Well done, Tom. I was seemingly incapable of saying it better myself.


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Sunday, September 07, 2003

Dude, I am so not in the Klan

News to me that Robert C. Byrd was in the Ku Klux Klan. Not surprisingly, that intelligence is not incuded in the Bio section of his official website. The point remains, however, that I happen to share his stance on the current administration's foreign endeavours. I also value his emphasis on education. I guess no one is all bad, or all good. But being in the Klan is bad. So very bad.

On a sadder note, as Jeff and his Greenthink remain in hiatus, David and Lighterside seem to have taken the same road. The demand of maintaining a job and higher education understandably precludes blogging. Status of Paul and Afortiori under investigation... This leaves me as one of the few admittedly and decidedly liberal voices currently active in the Cal blog circuit. My obligatory liberal query of the day: Is that a WMD in your pocket? (The answer is No, of course not. 'Cause there aren't any.)

On a political note, our president wants to spend $87 billion to further his American Cowboy World Domination Tour '03. Boo, the president.

On a me note, my birthday is this Thrusday. Yay, me.

On a musical note, the more I listen to Hail to the Thief, the more I like it. Also, the more I listen to the Beatles, the more insurmountable their musical superiority becomes.

On a comedic note, you should come to the Squelch comedy show this Wednesday, September 10 at 8pm in the Bear's Lair. Jim Short is out headliner; he's both funny and semi-Australian. Tickets are $5 presale, $8 at the door. Find us on Sproul this week for presale, or come to our short meeting before the show in 109 Wheeler at 7pm on Wednesday. Bring a friend, bring a date, bring a friend-who-could-potentially-become-a-date.



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Saturday, September 06, 2003

And he'll be turning 86 this November

Read this release from West Virginia senator Robert C. Byrd. (Link courtesy of Monica's Buddy Info.) An excerpt:

Despite our high-blown claims of a better life for the Iraqi people, water is scarce, and often foul, electricity is a sometime thing, food is in short supply, hospitals are stacked with the wounded and maimed, historic treasures of the region and of the Iraqi people have been looted, and nuclear material may have been disseminated to heaven knows where, while U.S. troops, on orders, looked on and guarded the oil supply. Meanwhile, lucrative contracts to rebuild Iraq's infrastructure and refurbish its oil industry are awarded to Administration cronies, without benefit of competitive bidding, and the U.S. steadfastly resists offers of U.N. assistance to participate. Is there any wonder that the real motives of the U.S. government are the subject of worldwide speculation and mistrust?

In addition to bearing similar political beliefs, Robert C. Byrd and I also have the same initials. Furthermore, my father lives in the fine state whom Byrd represents. Lastly, each year I receive $1500 from the Robert C. Byrd scholarship fund. I in turn use that money to eat and stuff.


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Thursday, September 04, 2003

CalJunket Hosts Exclusive Interview With British Prime Minister Tony Blair

Big news, huh?... Wait, what? You mean I didn't actually meet the famous and handsome Tony Blair, let alone have an interview with him, let alone an exclusive one? But you see, I hosted one. Here, at this link. Go ahead, I swear.... See?

Well, it makes as much sense as the Daily Californian's headline today. "Berkeley Hosts Gubernatorial Debate." Hmmm. Walnut Creek, Berkeley, whatever. Sweet Jesus, does that newspaper suck.

Not to be outdone by a mediocre "newspaper," the CalJunketress (namely me) has her own gubernatorial debate coverage. I do have one caveat, however: I only watched the second half of the debate, and I did so in midst of the excitement of cheeseless pizza and seasoned fries and the Bear's Lair. So some of my facts might be wrong. Like the fact that I hosted Peter Ueberroth at my most recent pool party; it may or may not be a fact that he got totally wasted and threw up in the shoes of Mary Carey, whom I was also hosting.

Peter Ueberroth. First, it should be pronounced "Oi-berroth." (Finally my high school German is coming in handy.) Second, I don't like what he says (seeing as I'm liberal and all), but I like how he says it. He cuts through the poop straight to the golden kernals of corn within.

Arianna Huffington. I like her politics. She supports same-sex marriages, opposes the death penalty, and supports immigrants' rights. She's a sexy immigrant with great hair who was married to a gay man; she's living the American Dream.

Tom McClintock. I guess I always had a french fry in my face when this guy was on TV, and I have no recollection of his performance inthe debate, so I went to his website for some infor. It turns out he's thrice the Republican that Arnold could ever be. He seems unconcerned by California social politics and concentrates instead on taxes and government. In fact, his website only outlines four issues (car tax, energy, workers' comp, and government waste). No education, no gay marriage, no immigrant issues. I find these kind of political blinders to be dangerous. The same goes for politicians who focus entirely on social issues but ignore economic concerns, for example. He's a pure Republican, and it's earning him support. And he'll never win.

Cruz Bustamonte. This dude is a total load. He's corrupt, backstabbing, and pandering. And he will win as a result.

Peter Camejo. My boyfriend's primary criticism of Pete is the overreaching nature of his campaign. Camejo is too ambitious and too eager to take a holistic (dare I say unrealistic) approach to each issue. Truth is, the man can't answer a political question without answering five more that weren't even asked. For example, when asked about medical marijuana, he started in about tobacco lobbies. But I love that about him. Save for affirmative action, his politics and mine are in remarkable alignment. He's the most trustworty candidate on the entire slate.

I think it's remarkable that of the six primary cindidates (the five debaters plus Arnie), four are either not native to America or are the offspring of American immigrants. One of California's greatest resources is its diversity.

Most importantly, at the end of the day, we can all agree to legalize medicinal weed. Tom and the Ueberdog call it as a states' rights issue. Arianna and Cruz approach it as a way of minimizing the suffering of terminal disease patients. And Camejo wants to legalize it for everyone in the whole damn country, terminal illness or not. Go Green.


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Monday, September 01, 2003

During this glorious past seven days...

...I succumed to the fact that for yet another year Sex on Tuesday will be anticlimactic and that the author will be too preoccupied with her own self-supposed rebellion to offer useful advice. (P.S., Andrea. If you asked to get written about in the Squelch, it's a guarantee that we'll never mention you.)

...I had to choose between paying my rent and buying more than three text books. I chose paying rent. Luckilly, the good people at Direct Loans sent me a check this morning. This afternoon I celebrated at Curcuit City and replaced my broken CD player and speakers with some new low-quality merchandise. And oh yeah, I'll buy the rest of my text books tomorrow.

...I was very pleased with the number of students, primarily freshman, who showed up to the year's first Squelch meeting. Per usual, fewer than a fifth of our newbies were female. The lack of vaginas in humor is epidemic, and I would be proud if my magazine could help remedy this problem in some small way. Meetings are on Wednesday nights at 7:00 in 109 Wheeler. Bring some chicks.

...I helped my friends start brewing their first (and second) batch of homemade beer. Very yeasty indeed.

...I attended the second half of Cal's handy victory over Mississippi in the game of American Football. Good show, lads. The Cal band continued to be blah, though I did enjoy their Ben Folds medly at half-time. Next round, however, I'd suggest not playing "Brick." Football and abortion ballads don't mix well.

...I had a splendid time watching my inebriated classmates stalk Piedmont on Game Day. Friends don't let friends make asses of themselves drunk.

...I learned the true meaning of Christmas with a little help from my mentally handicapped African American friend from the Deep South and his hard-as-nails football coach with a heart of gold. Radio!


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